How to play the waiting game
Let’s be honest – few of us are good at waiting patiently. But it's unavoidable, and we can turn it to good use.
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Many of my clients are playing a frustrating waiting game. One waits for his new boss halfway across the world to make decisions that will affect his career and where he lives, creating knock-on effects for his wife’s career and children’s education. There’s nothing he can do to hurry things along.
Another man is waiting for a decision on organizational restructuring, hampering his ability to make urgent changes in his business. Another is waiting to be assigned a new project to lead. He is lobbying hard for certain jobs, but there are too many moving parts for the firm to decide quickly.
These guys are paid to be decisive and action-oriented, yet right now they’re helpless. I’ve been through similar experiences. It's horrible.
How to respond in such situations? We must learn to suffer with hope.
Most of us didn't sign up for suffering but priest/philosopher Henri Nouwen said, “The word ‘patience’ comes from the Latin verb patior which means ‘to suffer.’ Waiting patiently is suffering through the present moment, tasting it to the full, and letting the seeds that are sown in the ground on which we stand grow into strong plants. Waiting patiently always means paying attention to what is happening right before our eyes.”
For example, another client of mine was in limbo for two years as the company he worked for tried to sell off their operations in Australia. He ended up literally the last man standing. All the while he applied for jobs without success, whilst carrying two mortgages.
He chose to be professional, doing his best for a company that did not care, whilst trusting a good opportunity would arise. He maintained hope and ended up in the best possible job, a better man for having waited.
Then there’s my friend who came to Australia as a refugee seven years ago. After fleeing his war-torn homeland, he spent eleven years in a Kenyan refugee camp, waiting. And waiting. He learned how to suffer with hope, to wait both patiently and actively, maintaining faith that he and his family would be resettled, whilst doing all he could in the meantime to improve himself, learn, and support others.
They were fortunate. Once in Australia, he earned a BA and got a job. Now he waits patiently to help other relatives come over, pushing through red tape, never complaining, always grateful and gracious.
I’ve learned so much from these men who’ve learned to suffer with hope, inspiring me during circumstances I cannot change. How can their example help you?
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