Eyes Front
Loss of aspiration leads to loss of motivation. Live in the present, but keep looking forward.
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What do you do when you’ve achieved some success in your life, but suddenly feel unmotivated? You’ve lost your drive. You no longer feel like you belong. What’s going on?
Several years ago, I had what I considered the best job of my life — running a fast-growing consulting firm, working with great people and excellent clients, and making a real difference. But after seven years of striving, something changed. Nothing about the job, it was me. I felt lost and anxious about the future.
Hundreds of men I’ve worked with over the past 20 years report a similar experience. Once they reach the goals they’ve been aiming for, they feel momentary satisfaction but then uncertainty about what’s next.
One man said it well:
“Ten years ago, I was the youngest General Manager. Now I’m the oldest.”
His team was struggling, but he didn’t have the motivation to do anything about it.
Why does this happen?
Humans are future-oriented. What we see ahead of us shapes how we think, feel, and act today. We need to believe that a good life is unfolding in front of us in order to thrive in the present.
When life is difficult, a strong vision of the future helps us move forward. It gives us hope and energy. That’s why people take great risks for the possibility of a better life.
As Nietzsche said, “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”
Without a clear future, it’s easy to lose motivation. Time feels empty. Enthusiasm fades.
Why does the future disappear?
Let’s say you’re in your mid-40s.
When you were 25, you may have had goals to become a leader, build a business, learn a trade, or make a difference in some way. You didn’t know exactly what that would look like, but it gave you direction and energy.
Now, those goals are mostly fulfilled. Not perfectly, perhaps — but your 25-year-old self would be impressed.
And when a future is fulfilled, it disappears.
That can leave a void. And instead of creating a new future, many people get stuck. They distract themselves. They feel lost.
So what now?
Start by being grateful for what you’ve achieved — and then let it go.
Take time to notice your deeper longings. They may be different now. The future you imagine today might not look like it did 20 years ago when you were looking ahead — and that’s okay.
The second half of life may bring a new kind of purpose, direction, and contribution.
